Robot
by Miss Chelle
Summary: A crack one-shot in which America is annoyed by Japan's new toy.


_(I don't know. Random idea that I had. Enjoy.)_

Robot

America was late to the meeting. He honestly didn't care what the others thought about this, because he had a very, very important reason for lagging behind. It happened to be the current fashion for the fast food joints in the country to sell ungodly mixtures of meat and cheese for something around only a dollar. America had gone on a spending and eating spree that lasted for about half an hour. So, he arrived to the meeting half an hour late, feeling very full and content. He had been constructing an elaborate lie to tell the other nations that were bound to be angry at him, but to his surprise, no one yelled at him as soon as he walked in the room. Instead, everyone was huddled around the table, watching something or other.

"Hey, what's going on? Everyone's supposed to cheer when the Hero walks in!"

England was the only one who took the time to acknowledge America's presence. "Oh, you're finally here. Took you long enough, git."

"Shut up. Why isn't anybody mad at me for coming in late? Usually, you guys wanna rip my head off. What's the deal?"

"The "deal", you slang using idiot, is this new toy Japan made."

"…..A toy? A toy is keeping all of the nations in the world from coming up with solutions with the problems we all have to deal with? Are you serious?"

"Oh, quit acting so high and mighty, idiot! It's exactly the same as when you came up with that Slinky nonsense."

"I thought we agreed to never compare the Slinky to anything! It's the most Awesome thing in the world, and nothing could even come close to it's brilliance!"

"That was your stupid rule! And, I was wrong, this isn't like the Slinky at all."

"Thought so."

"Everyone was over that glorified spring in a matter of weeks. This, on the other hand, is going to be popular for much, much longer!"

"Lies! Lies and slander! The Slinky will never die!"

Germany turned to America and England, who were both gearing up for a shouting match and yelled,

" Stop your childish arguing! You two are distracting!"

England shuffled back to his spot around the table, muttering apologies.

America was taken aback. Whatever this new toy was, it must've been really interesting to tear England away from a chance to insult him. Alfred strode to a empty spot between France and Russia and joined the rest of the world, gazing at whatever fabulous new toy Japan had invented.

It was a miniature robot, walking around on it's own with no controller in sight. The other countries were simply fascinated with the level of A.I the robot had, stopping when it was about to trip over something, responding when it was talked to and other such things. Japan was blushing, proud of his latest achievement.

"Ve~ how does it know when to stop walking like that?" A dazzled Italy posed the question to the general assembly.

"That's easy. It's magic. The Fairies tell him." England replied with his answer to everything.

"I don't think it's fairies. Maybe Japan just dressed up a really tiny person?" Russia asked hopefully, wanting to get the right answer.

"Like, totally not. Japan just used his, like, super-tech powers to make the thing like, know where it is and stuff. Y'know?" Poland tried his hardest to explain it so that everyone else knew what he was talking about. Unfortunately, he failed.

"Are you all joking? It's just a motion-detection device! We all have stuff like this! Security cameras and stuff." America didn't like the thing. He was glaring at the small robot with poison in his eyes. He would never admit this to anybody, but scary movies aren't the only thing that scared him. He was also scared of robots. Well, robots that weren't built by him. Giant heroes that protect the world from global warming weren't scary, they were Awesome!

A collective "oh" went through the group, and America went on with his speech, regardless of the amount of people that were ignoring him. Which was kind of a lot.

"This hunk of junk is pretty much useless. I don't know why you guys are all hyped up over some rinky-dink little thing that Japan probably spent all of three hours making. Honestly, you guys are all acting like a bunch of hicks that have never seen a computer chip before. This stupid robot is nothing more than a piece of trash!"

Well, America got a good bit of glares from his audience, and England yelled at him,

"Your just jealous because the robot is cooler than anything you could come up with."

"Oh, yeah, I'm soooo jealous of a walking piece of metal. Give everyone an hour, they'll get tired of it. I know I'd rather play with something that's a whole lot more fun, like a dog or something. A dog plays back! A dog has the brain to react! _Why isn't anyone listening?!"_

Crossing his arms like a petulant child, America came up with a new ploy for attention. I mean, a new plan to "educate" the other about the creepy hunk of lifeless metal, and what a stupid, useless thing it really is. His plan? Drop a brick on it and smash it into a million pieces. Because that is how Americans solve problems.

America grabbed a brick from the pile that the countries have in the corner, and walked boldly to the table where everyone was still enthralled with the damned robot.

"This, ladies and gentleman, is what I think of this stupid robot."

And he dropped the brick on the toy, in a very dramatic and flashy manner, and the toy broke with a satisfying crunch. Chuckling, America dusted his hands off, and looked around at his colleagues, expecting to be met with the adoring eyes of countries freed from the robot's tyranny.

There was a moment of silence, and then Japan started crying. Then, an angry mob attacked America.

If you ask him, he'll say it was totally worth it.

(_Okay, the ending sucked. I think it's cause I forgot the idea that I originally had. Oh, well. If you like it, review and let me know! Ciao~)_


End file.
